Poem, Writer's Blog

My Last Day

My life has been short, only nine years and forty

I guess I had fun, but often was naughty

It might all come down to the way I was bred

Nurtured, protected, so easily led

***

Never took chances to go it alone

Walked out on my parents to run my own home

Missed out on college, pursued my career

Had children and married, at which some will sneer

***

Oft I have wished that some things I could change

Could have met others, my life rearranged

Things could have been different if only I’d tried

Not to rush into things, listened to all sides

***

Only now I am bearing the many regrets

Shouldering my worries, hanging onto regrets

But he won’t reassure me, of the future I’m fearful

If I knew he was gone, I would no longer be tearful

***

But now, as I see it, my life is so grim

Depression and sadness, so quickly creep in

I feel, now, that life Is not worth waiting for

I can’t bear the thought that he’ll return to my door

***

This worry is tearing its way through my heart

I’m sitting here now, and I wish to depart

This world and the sadness I’m longing to cure

But to meet with my maker holds such an allure

***

But how do I do this, to bear me no shame?

It’s not so courageous, may darken my name

My children will miss me, perhaps a few more

But one day they’ll know of the pain my heart bore

***

I cannot go on, darkened nights, sullen days

Pretend to be happy when I’m just in a daze

I bid you goodbye now, I must say adieu

But remember, those near me, I’ll always love you.

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6 thoughts on “My Last Day”

  1. I am so glad that this isn’t where you are anymore. But the feeling you so delicately and beautifully described are heartbreaking, and unfortunately real so many. I have been there myself, I think from what you write, in similar circumstances. Depression is so real and so pervasive. Thank you so much for sharing this personal piece.

      1. Getting there. For me, it’s building a new life and getting rid of some toxic relationships. Putting myself and my kids wellbeing first. I am on my way ๐Ÿ˜Š

      2. Exactly the way I did it. I think children do help spur you on but its far from easy. Hang in there. Message me whenever. I am a good listener. ๐Ÿ’œ

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