My Last Day

My life has been short, only nine years and forty 

I guess I’ve had fun, but I’ve often been naughty 

It might all come down to the way I was bred 

Nurtured, protected, so easily led 

*** 

Never took chances to go it alone 

Walked out on my parents to run my own home 

Missed out on college, pursued my career 

Had children and married, at which some will sneer 

*** 

Oft I have wished that some things I could change 

Could have met others, my life rearranged 

Things could have been different if only I’d tried 

Not to rush into things, listened to all sides 

 ***

Only now I am bearing the many regrets 

Shouldering my worries, hanging onto regrets 

But he won’t reassure me, of the future I’m fearful 

If I knew he’d be gone, I would no longer be tearful 

*** 

But now, as I see it, my life is so grim 

Depression and sadness, so quickly creep in 

I feel, now, that life Is not worth waiting for 

I can’t bear the thought that he’ll return to my door 

*** 

This worry is tearing its way through my heart 

I’m sitting here now, and I wish to depart 

This world and the sadness I’m longing to cure 

But to meet with my maker holds such an allure 

*** 

But how do I do this, t bear me no shame 

It’s not so courageous, may darken my name 

My children will miss me, perhaps a few more 

But one day they’ll know of the pain my heart bore 

*** 

I cannot go on, darkened nights, sullen days 

Pretend to be happy when I’m just in a daze 

I bid you goodbye now, I must say adieu 

But remember, those near me, I’ll always love you.

***